St Mary the Virgin Merton

      Diocese of Southwark, Church of England

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On the lighter side

These sentences actually appeared in church magazines or were announced in church services

 


 

1.  The sermon this morning “Jesus Walks on the water”. The sermon tonight “Searching for Jesus”.

2.  Ladies, don't forget the jumble sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands!

3.  The peace making meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to conflict .

4.  Announcement in a church magazine for a national PRAYER & FASTING conference - the cost for attending the PRAYER & FASTING conference includes meals.

5.  Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

6.  Miss Jane Mason sang “I will not pass this way again” giving pleasure to the congregation.

7.  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

8.  Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all help they can get .

9.  The Vicar will preach his farewell message after which the choir sing “Break Forth into Joy”.

10.  At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell” come early and hear the choir practice.

11.  Eight new Choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and deterioration of some older ones.

12.  Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

14.  The Vicar would appreciate it if the Ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday..

15.  Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm in the church hall, please use the large double door at the side entrance.

18.  Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at the Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

Ray Stanley

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