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We continue here notes on the lectures organised by our Vicar on topical
issues that took place in the Church Hall on five consecutive evenings last
autumn.
The fourth lecture:
Christianity and Relationships - Sue Burridge
Principal points
Setting the scene: Today we are wealthier, more economically secure, live
longer, with more contract between generations. 6 million people live
on their own, rather than in families; and people remain unmarried longer.
Less than 50 percent of people now get married in church. People are having
fewer children and having them later in life than was the case previously.
People disburse to new locations: so that family support is dissipated.
Christianity has looked to the married couple; but no type of family is a
God-given ideal.
How
can we support families in the 21st century? We must engage with society;
help people in making a variety of relationships.
Questions and answers
1.
We know of gay people who want to be married”. Is there much demand for
this?
Answer
There is sufficient demand for Parliament to be devoting time to the Civil
Partnership Bill 2005. But what is envisaged here does not have to be based
on a sexual relationship. One’s attitude to same-sex relationships needs to
be such as not to deny God’s love; promoting an inclusive stance rather than
an exclusive stance.
2.
Have you any comment on the position of children in today’s society?
Answer
Children are being given too much power and growing up too soon. There is a
reduction in their security in growing up.
3.
Should we perhaps change to the continental system, in which there is a
civil ceremony initially?
Answer This
would be a good idea.
4.
How damaging is divorce?
Answer At
middle age, men’s emotional problems increase; women become poorer but begin
to look outward. Men look inwards more. How parents handle the divorce has
a bearing on the effect of the divorce on the children, but the divorce is
not always the best thing for them.
5.
What facilities are there for improving marital relationships?
Answer There
is marriage-preparation. The new wedding service is a great improvement.
Breakdown of the marital relationship is usually about betrayal, not
necessarily a sexual betrayal. Infidelity is an instance of betrayal.
Where there is a child expected it may be helpful for the parents to attend
a parenting group.
6. Have you anything to say about helping people with relationships other
than marital relationships?
Answer When
someone has a problem it is important that he or she has the opportunity to
meet others similarly afflicted. It is crucial for the individual to face
facts and admit to the problem Alcoholics Anonymous helps people adopting
this approach.
Alan
Morris
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